Just this week there was a new drama Wanderlust on BBC. This was nothing like real therapy. I laughed as the therapist is called Joy. Relationship Guru? I don’t think so. She did nothing to create good rapport with a couple she saw, and sat quietly whilst the man really struggled to talk about what had gone wrong. During my sessions, my main aim is to create rapport in a comfortable and safe environment, and confidentiality is a must. Are you looking to find a way of improving your relationship, and creating the spark again, or making a decision to end it?

Most of us go through times when we get bored or frustrated in any relationship. You cannot afford to become complacent. Some men might say that just when they think everything is going well, their partners change the rules again! The thing is there are no rules in relationships, but there is communication.

During the last eighteen years as a therapist, I often notice that when I see partners together, their communication is quite poor. I am not saying they don’t speak, but they don’t say the things that matter. I am talking about communicating how they really feel. Some clients have said, ‘Oh I couldn’t tell him/her that, they would be upset’. How can a relationship work if you cannot or are afraid to say how you really feel?

So often partners don’t really listen to what is being said without jumping in and saying things like, ‘ No, that’s not true’. But it is true for that person and how they feel.

I’m not really a relationship guru, but I can and do help clients to either find their way through difficult times, or come to decisions that will benefit each other long term. Living in a relationship that is less than good is stressful, which eventually leads to health complications. The immune system becomes compromised because of stress, so people complain of many kinds of health problems which can be traced back to difficult relationships.

There is not a great deal of help out there, other than Relate. I use many techniques other than talking which help people to understand where things may be going wrong in their relationships. My expertise is in communication patterns and the words we use, including tonality. I use hypnosis to calm the mind and suggestions that work on an unconscious level.

If the problems are sexually related, couples tend to stop talking about it, and the problems escalate even more. Men can often bury their heads in the sand when it comes to dysfunctions. If the dysfunction is health related, they need to speak to their GP. If it is stress based, and then exacerbated by fear, then therapy can be extremely helpful as hypnosis removes the fears, and then everything can work perfectly again. Loss of libido can be caused by hormonal changes but often caused by anxieties and stress. Hypnosis plays a major part in allowing the client to remember good times from the past and reignite the spark again.

I don’t have all the answers to relationship problems and concerns, but what I do have is long experience in helping many people of all ages.

Waiting for things to improve might take a long time. Relationship therapy might make all the difference to the way you are thinking.

Sometimes we just need someone to act as a mediator and facilitate some changes where necessary. Wanderlust made out that sex was the most important thing in a relationship. It most definitely is important, but not as important as trust, honesty, loyalty and communication. If you would like to find out whether or not your relationship can be improved or whether you both decide the time has come to make firm decisions, consider the relationship guru! Contact me and let us talk.

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